Parenting Lessons from my Freshman

I recently moved my daughter, Kiley, out of her freshman dorm. Wow! It is crazy how fast time flies! As I have reflected on my parenting for what I did right and wrong for her first 18 years. Plus engaging with 100s of business leaders over the last few years and talking about family, here are 3 important parenting lessons I wanted to share with each of you. 1. Tell your kids you love them as they grow up. Whether I have been talking around a campfire, on a coaching call with a client, or chatting with a friend, it is all too common for me to hear that people did not have parents that told them they were loved. It is wild how these leaders can be successful in numerous areas of their lives, yet they still have some form of wounding because their parents did not verbally express that they loved them, or were proud of them. We need to fix that! Starting today, tell your kids you love them and that you are proud of them. 2. Teaching your kids WHO they are is much more important than WHAT they do. Statistics show that kid’s anxiety is at an all-time high. Per an article on The Wave Clinic, “Many teens feel pressure to do well and over-perform than ever before and worry that they may not be on par with their peers.” I think this starts with us parents and what we have been affirming during their childhood. We need to compliment their character more than we do their competency. Compliment their work ethic, more than the straight “A’s”. Compliment their teamwork, more than the 2 goals they scored. When kids are constantly affirmed for WHAT they do, then they start to consistently measure their performance. What happens if they don’t get straight A’s? What happens if they only score 1 goal? They begin to feel less of themselves. We don’t want our kids to feel less about themselves when they have a temporary setback. Starting today, affirm the positive character attributes of your child more than the achievements. 3. Our kids value our presence over our provisions. As we are all building our businesses, we need to make sure we are present with our kids. Our kids want our time, more than they want the new trendy shoes. So make it a point to make more frequent time with your kids, instead of waiting for the big summer vacation. Presence is how we show them we love them and help build an identity into what really matters. While our provisions are nice, they fade. The shoes get dirty. The jeans get holes in them. Yet, our presence builds up their confidence and security in who they are. Starting today, look to take some time off to hang out with your kids and have fun. I don’t always get the above correct. I have screwed up my fair share of times. But I work to recalibrate as fast as I can. My heart is to help you get better in your leadership at home, just as I am working to do the same!

-Cory